Rozalyn 3: (Rozalyn Series) Read online

  Getting my life together was my number one priority; it was the only way I would get to spend even a minute with my boys. I earned my GED through a four week program, and enrolled in college shortly after. I'm only ten credits away from receiving my associates degree in Criminal Justice and planning to go back to get a bachelor's. I've always wanted to be a lawyer and since I'm still young, I have time.

  After getting tired of living off my brother and hearing him and his fiancé Kayla aka Ki-Ki fight all the time, I decided I needed a job. Going out on a limb, opening a beauty shop came to mind and my brother helped me to make it happen. Not once did I think I would have what it took to successfully run a business but after being open for just four months; business is booming and my shop is rated number three in the state.

  The money is way better than I'd ever expected, especially being I wasn't much of a stylist. I could braid my ass off but that was about it. I had six other stylists working for me and my best friend Brian was one of them.

  We did everything from make-up, to hair and nails, and massages. Being a beauty shop owner isn't and wasn't one of my dreams but it did provide me with a comfortable lifestyle to get to where I wanted and needed to be.

  Everything I've done was for today, to gain back custody of my boys and prove to Tamar that I can be somebody without him.

  The judge cleared his throat before speaking again, "Although, you've made a great deal of improvement. I think it’s best that the children stay in the custody of their father."

  My whole world came crashing down, this shit just can't be right. I've done everything possible to prove that I can be a good mother and provide for my boys. I don't even know the last time I've had a good night’s sleep ‘cause I'm always on the grind. I've been hustlin' so hard to get my shit straight and it didn't seem to matter. This judge just had to be on Tamar's payroll, he just had to be.

  Doing my best to stifle my cries, I held my head down into my chest. It seemed that no matter what I did, Tamar would always win.

  "Your honor, with the improvements that Rozalyn has made; is it at least possible that she gets visitation?" my lawyer Greg posed the question.

  "Yes," the judge stated flatly.

  That got me to lift my head up. Something was way better than nothing. The judge removed his thick glasses, rubbed his eyes, and then put them back on.

  "After careful consideration, I am in agreement that visitation rights are deserved. I'm ordering a standard visitation order to take effective immediately. Mr. Andrews is to make sure the children are available this Friday at seven p.m., and Mrs. Andrews you are to have them back no later than 6:30 p.m. Sunday evening."

  You couldn't stop the smile that lit up across my face. My tears of pain suddenly became tears of joy. In just three more days I would finally get to see my boys again. I glanced over at Tamar who was notably pissed. I don't know why he got such great satisfaction out of keeping my kids away from me and going through this has truly made me realize how dumb I was.

  "Where are we on the divorce proceedings?" the judge asked looking from my lawyer to Tamar's.

  Greg stood up, "Rozalyn has been showing up once a week to appointed counseling sessions but Mr. Andrews has been a no show each time."

  "Mmph," the judge sighed. I'm sure he was thinking the same thing I'd been thinking all this time. For someone who claimed that they wanted nothing to do with me, and how I was a nasty project bitch, who wasn't going to amount to shit in life; he couldn't seem to let me go.

  He filed for a divorce months ago but doesn't want to do what it takes to finalize it. The judge ordered that we complete thirty two hours of therapy with a marriage counselor. He said that young people got married at the drop of a dime and never did what it took to stay married. He wanted to ensure that there wasn't any way possible that we would want to reconcile.

  I don't know about Tamar but I knew for certain I was done and was more than ready to get this divorce under wraps.

  "I'm giving sixty days from today's date to get the counseling ordered completed. If it is not completed at that time the proceedings will be closed out and the process will have to be restarted. Am I clear?" the judge asked.

  I nodded my head and looked towards Tamar; he rubbed his goatee, seemingly in deep thought. This was the first time I'd seen him in eight months; since our last court meeting and I must admit he was looking dapper. Better than I remembered. The judge set our next court date and dismissed us until that time.

  Eagerly I arose from my chair and wrapped my arms around my attorney Greg. It had cost me a pretty penny to retain him and so far it seemed worth it. I would pay him every last dime I had if it meant I would regain custody of my children.

  "Aaghhh!" I screamed and jumped into Brian's arms. He showed signs that he'd been crying and I could see that he was happy for me. He'd listened to me complain daily about my situation and now we finally had something to celebrate.

  Brian and I walked out of the court room together smiling from ear to ear, but my smile quickly faded upon seeing Tamar's new girlfriend. It was that reporter bitch Kari, the one that sent Tamar all those naked pictures when he and I were together. I hated bitches like her, she was waiting in the trenches for me to fuck up and when I did, she jumped on Tamar's dick so fast; my juices didn't even get a chance to dry up.

  "Bitch," I said noticing she was staring at me behind her big ass Dior sunglasses.

  "Hi little girl. How are you?" she asked before removing her glasses.

  "Brian, let's go," I grabbed his hand and trotted down the stairs.

  "Roz!" Tamar called after me.

  I stopped in my tracks and turned to see him and Kari holding hands as they made their way in my direction. I placed one hand on my hip waiting for them to get closer. I didn't have anything to say to Tamar or Kari's ass, all I needed was for him to have Tamarion, Zyir, and Zavier ready for me on Friday.

  "Yea," I said with a hint of attitude.

  "I'll have Taron bring the boys over to you on Friday. Go ahead and set up that counseling shit and let me know---"

  I cut him off, "It's already set up, same day and time every week. Just make sure you don't waste my time once again and not show up."

  I didn't miss Tamar's eyes as they cut across my body. He licked his lips when he made it down to my hips. I smirked at his ass then turned to leave once again.

  "Damn, did he just mind fuck you?" Brian asked through laughter.

  "Hell yea, I saw that shit too!" I laughed.

  "Bitch, I am so happy for you! We celebrating tonight! Drinks on me and yes I am getting you very fucked up!"

  I grabbed Brian's hand and squeezed it tightly, "I can't wait. Oh my God! I can't wait!"

  We headed towards my new Jeep Liberty and was about to get in when we heard the deafening sounds of an explosion. The force of the explosion pushed me forward and caused me to hit the door of my car with a thud.

  Brian scattered across the ground towards me, there was blood dripping from his nose and a few scratches across his face.

  "You okay?" he asked helping me to my feet.

  "Yea, are you? What the fuck was that?" I asked wiping debris from my clothing.

  "Shit, look," Brian's eyes shot across the parking lot.

  A handful of people laid out on the pavement and two of them just so happen to be Tamar and Kari. Tamar's black Navigator sat in flames, melting the metal away by the minute. I tried to run towards them when a second explosion halted me and threw me back towards the ground.

  "Oh my God, Tamar!" I cried.

  His truck literally lifted from the ground as more flames surrounded it. Leaping to my feet, I jolted across the parking lot towards Tamar, and grabbed him by his arms. Seeing him like this reminded me of the time he was shot up in his trap house; body leaking with blood from the many bullets that penetrated his skin. It was the incident that started a whole whirlwind of madness.

  "Rozalyn, you gotta get back! Get back before this shit blows the hell up again,
" Brian wrapped his arm around me and pulled me away from Tamar.

  I wanted to help Tamar and I didn't understand why. He's put me through hell for a year, took my kids from me, caused my niece to be taken away and treated me worse than dog shit. Why the fuck did I want to help him?

  I stared at Tamar's limp body as I backed away from the scene. If he died, wouldn't that make things easier for me? Is that what I wanted?

  "Fuck!" I yelled out. I grabbed my purse and threw everything that fell out back into it. Brian and I jumped into my jeep and peeled away from the lot. A thousand thoughts ran through my head, thoughts that confused the hell out of me.

  I wanted to go back, my heart kept telling me to go back, but my mind kept telling me fuck that nigga and let his new bitch worry about him. Yea, fuck him and let the new boo worry ‘bout that ass.

  ***

  I stormed through the doors of my beauty shop, not saying hello or excuse me to anyone. Rushing towards the back of the building, I stuck my key in the lock of my office, rushed in and slammed the door behind me. I threw everything in my hands across the room making loud crashing noises.

  Tears rushed from my face but I shook my head quickly to prevent them from falling. I didn't know why I was feeling this way or why was I scared as fuck right now. The fluttering of my heart told me I still had feelings for Tamar. Feelings I had no business having.

  "Rozalyn, get yourself together. Damn," Brian said after coming into my office. "Why are you crying?"

  "Brian, he could be dead and I left him there!" I yelled.

  "He ain't your responsibility anymore. Are you serious right now?"

  "I don't know why I care Brian. I don't get it. What is wrong with me?"

  "I don't know, maybe you're dumb, stupid, desperate," Brian ran his fingers through his dreads and leaned against my desk.

  "Brian---" I started but was cut off.

  "That's what you acting like. Look, get yourself together because there are a shit load of customers waiting to be serviced. You know I don't give a fuck about Tae, so you gets no love from me," Brian rolled his eyes and left my office.

  I walked around and sat in the chair behind my desk, grabbing a mirror from the drawer; I looked over my face. My eyes were red and my mascara was running. I picked up the phone to dial my brother Kevin's number. I had to find a way to inconspicuously check on Tamar.

  "What up?" Kevin asked. "How did everything go?"

  "I didn't get custody back but I did get visitation," I said into the receiver.

  "That's what's up lil’ sis. So, when do you get to see them?"

  "This Friday, I cannot wait. I bet Tamarion is so big and oh my God the twins, I haven't seen them since they were five months old. They not even gonna know me," I said and instantly felt nervous.

  It never dawned on me that my kids most likely didn't remember me. It has been forever since I've seen them and since Kari is around all the time; I'm sure they believe she's their mama. Just the thought of that made me sick.

  "Hold on real quick Roz, let me get this other line," Kevin said snapping me from my thoughts.

  "Yea okay," I sighed. I'd called Kevin to see what he knew about Tamar and if nothing to see what he could find out. The conversation took an indirect turn and had me feeling some type of way.

  Everyday I've complained about my boys not being with me and now I'm having second thoughts. Fear of rejection crippled my judgment and got me to believing that they were better off where they are.

  "Aye," Kevin came back to the line not sounding like he did before he clicked over. "Tae, in the hospital. Ron said they don't know if he's gonna make it."

  A ringing in my ears kept me from hearing anything further. The phone dropped from my hand onto the floor, crashing into pieces once it made contact with the tiled floor.

  This isn't at all what I wanted. Even if my life could possibly get easier, I didn't want Tamar dead. Regardless of what he's done to me and how he's treated me; I would never want to see him dead.

  I grabbed my car keys and my purse and raced out of my office. Only thing I could see at this point was Tamar lying out on the pavement after his car exploded into tiny pieces. All I could remember is how I drove away and left him there to possibly burn away like an unwanted piece of trash.

  "Rozalyn! Roz!" Brian called after me.

  Nothing mattered to me at this moment. All I knew is that I needed to get to the hospital to see Tamar. As I got into my car my mind began playing tricks on me again and seeing Brian peering through my tinted windows partially confirmed that I was once again being a fool. How the hell would I look showing up to the hospital after the hell this boy has put me through?

  But I am still his wife. I considered.

  But he has a girlfriend, a girlfriend that lives with him. I reasoned.

  He also has kept my kids away from me for a fuckin’ year. What dumb bitch still cares about a nigga that does that? I concluded.

  After careful consideration, I opened the door to my car, shook my head, and walked back into my shop. I had three appointments lined up for the remainder of the day, money to be made, and shit to take care of. All I could do is hope and pray that the fool would be okay; hell he was no longer my concern.

  “What the hell is going on? Are you okay?” Brian asked.

  “I’m good. I just had a moment but I’m good. Let’s just get this day started and over with,” I said and walked over to my chair and began to set up all my equipment. I had to remember that Tamar was no longer my concern, the same as I wasn’t his.

  2: Rozalyn

  BAM! BAM! BAM!

  Ding Dong! Ding Dong!

  “Who is it?” I sighed, pulling my robe tightly closed. I looked out the window of my front door and noticed Taron standing on the other side holding my boys in his hand. A big smile crept on my face as I quickly undid the locks and pulled the door open. “Oh my God!”

  “Shh, I just got them to go to sleep. Go and get Zyir out the back seat,” Taron said as he moved his way into the house.

  I rushed outside to Taron’s Ford F-150 and pulled the back door open. Zyir was laid across the back seat, looking like a replica of my big brother Zavier. I picked him up, placed him over my shoulder, and took him into my home. I’d already gotten their bedroom together when I first moved here; each of them had their own bed with cartoon character themed blankets. This visit from Taron was truly a surprise being that I wasn’t supposed to get them until this Friday evening.

  I lay Zyir in his bed, pulled off his shoes and socks and placed him underneath the covers. I couldn’t help but stare down at all of my boys, gloating over how big they’d grown since I’d last seen them. Tears suddenly crept down my face as I watched the three of them and couldn’t believe that I’d created three beautiful little boys that would one day grow up and become great men.

  “I need to holla at you,” Taron said.

  “Okay,” I said wiping my face. I gave each of them a kiss, turned off the light in the bedroom, and followed Taron to my living room.

  Taron wore a mug across his face that said that what he had to talk to me about wasn’t going to be good. Defensively, I placed my hands on my hip and waited for him to say whatever he had to say. He took in a deep breath, took a seat on the edge of sofa, and then looked up at me with tears in his eyes. Quickly I softened, lowered my hands, and walked closer to him.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked.

  “Tamar is fucked up. They finally stopped the internal bleeding a couple of hours ago and stabilized him. I almost lost my only fuckin’ brother and your ass wasn’t there!” Taron yelled. His expression turned from sad to anger in a matter of seconds.

  “Taron I—“

  “I don’t wanna hear shit Roz! You were supposed to be there for him! That’s your damn husband!”

  “My husband?” I questioned him. “My husband has put me through hell, doing everything to keep our children from me for a damn year and you wanna talk to me about being there for him
?”

  “Look, I ain’t saying that Tamar was right in any of the shit he was doing. I told him damn near everyday how wrong he was from keeping the boys away from you but you know how he is. Rozalyn, you hurt him and that was how he coped. That nigga still cares for you and I think you of all people know that and you should’ve been there for him.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at how Taron was making his poor little brother out to be the victim. Yea I know I fucked up and violated the code when I slept with his homeboy but Tamar has done so many things to me that it wasn’t even funny. He beat my ass silly so many times, gave me a STD, and tried to blame the shit on me, slept with my sister, and so much other shit. I couldn’t believe Taron had the nerve to sit up here and say that Tamar was hurt.