Hated by Many, Loved by None Read online

  HATED BY MANY, LOVED BY NONE

  SHAN

  HATED BY MANY, LOVED BY NONE

  Copyright © 2012 by SBR PUBLICATIONS

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission of the author.

  Dedication

  To my loves: Stevien, Zhaniah, Zamaria, Dee, Amanda, Deuce, Kalayya.

  Acknowledgments

  Forever and always, thank you, GOD, for blessing me with this beautiful talent that I love and enjoy. Thank you for giving me the ability to continue to pen great story after great story. Thank you for my support system that continues to grow each and every day.

  ​To my children: What would I be without you three? If it wasn’t for you three, I would’ve given up on life a long time ago. For you, I will keep pushing to the top to make sure I can provide you three with everything that I never had. FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, LOVE Y’ALL WITH ALL OF MY HEART.

  ​To my mother Lucy Miles: I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You are the one person that I know, for sure, who will always have my back no matter what. Trust me, that means a lot to me. I love you and thank you for all the support you have given me. You’ve read all my books, even though they contain a lot of curse words. You’ve shown much how you’re down for me just by making that sacrifice to support your daughter. You are more than a backbone for me, and I appreciate it. Love you!

  ​To my dad and stepmother Robert and Linda Richardson: Thank you so much for all for your continued support. Thank you for spreading the word about your daughter and looking out continuously for the kids and me. Love y’all dearly.

  ​My sister Sho!: Thanks, honey, for all that you do. Love you!

  To my brother Julius: I love you dearly!

  ​My sister Ja’Lisa Taylor: Thank you so much for your continued support, for spreading the word about your big sis, and just showing love 100 percent. Love you, girl.

  ​To my sister from another mother Jolita Coit: Girl, I love you dearly. Once again, I am thankful that you are my friend and always telling any and everybody about my books. I appreciate you and all that you do for me. Even though you think you my mama, I love you like a sister.

  ​To my best friends Sharonda and Shay!: Thank y’all so much for everything you have done. The support you have given is truly wonderful, and I love y’all for it.

  ​My Auntie Tricia: Thank you so much for the love and support and for telling people ‘bout me everywhere you go.

  ​To Sharon Okeke, Brittany Young, Shaniqua Dirks, Latosha Martin, Sonia Moore, Roni LaShae, Nosha Bawss Peterson, Lola Monroe, Althea JustbeingMe, Rosalyn Reed, Jennifer Lee, Wanda Lee Bawss, Jennifer Bawss Brooks, Areya Wrighter-Square, Colisa Garrett, TeeTee Aintworriedaboutdanext Samuels, Brittney BG Green, Kendra MrsHoneydip Littleton, Charise Bee Heggs, Kenyetta Patrick, Danielle GhettoFabulous Gulley, Alex Brooks, Candice Williams, Laurie Robinson Thomas, Alicia Hartley, Angel Ramdorsingh, Marsha KT, Me’Tova Hollingsworth, Stephanie Hoffman, Yvette Bawss Hunter, Laquana Mccall, Natissha Wearethemajors Hayden, Jazz Bee, Saima Mann, Vonetta Jarvis, Christine Fortes, Anderia Franklin, Tiffany McGhee, Naeemah LadyBawss Sims-Leak, Keena Brown, Nicki Williams, Sherill Walker, Ayesha Overton, Marsha Jones, Tricia Pratt, Leondra LeRae Williams, Charnitra Cherry Harp, Linda Bawss Edwards, Lisa Wright, Chris Johnson, Angel Ramdorsingh, Niecy Lansden-Martin, Raychelle ImJusChelle Williams, Tenisha Miller Bawss, H.B.I.C. Ladyb Johnson, Nicole Coleman Primer, Kristie Fluker, Shannon Joshua, Chimere C Lowery, Verkisha D Searight Cook, Keonquil Hill, Corrina Charlton, QuanieLove McLean, Adrienne Willis, Cassandra Mercer, Tyra Tee, Carla Day, Mazaray Gibbs, Melissa Main, Rebbeca N Ortiz, Micole Walker, Shonda House, Kenyetta Patrick, Judy Thompson, Toya Merritt, Laurie Robinson Thomas, Shayla Che’Ri Perry, Candice Williams, Wendy Otey, Monica Fleming-Cadena, Bawss Mary Makesithappen Gordon, Jennifer Trimmer Prince, Alicia Reaves, Khaalis Blackwell, Debbie Gordon Harper, Carla Towns, Brandie Davis, Tiesha Johnson, Christine Joyner, Marlene Cooley, YungLit, Stephanie Liggons, Tiesha Johnson, LaQuanta Mack, Stacie Gibbs, Lota Laurynn Mozie, Lacresia Evans, Shauna Jones-Akbar, Mystik Critik, Angela Corum, Melody N Reid Cotton, Sharon LadyShay, Winter Cromer, Kimberly Kilpatrick: Thank you all for the continued love and support, it is very much appreciated. Thanks for all the feedback, reviews, wall posts, messages, Twitter shout outs…. Everything! I love you all! Muahh! If I forgot to mention anyone’s name, please charge it to my head and not my heart. Know that I love you.

  ​Special shout out to Gabrielle Dotson, now an author: So proud! I wish you the best and continued success. Thanks for continuing to support me, girl. I love you.

  ​Special shout out to CoCo Bawss Mixon: The love you show is crazy, and I appreciate it to the fullest, love.

  ​A very special shout out to Mo Bigmofrombflo Boyd: I appreciate you so much for all that you do. Love you, my virtual mother.

  Shout out to Dama Cargle, Monique Chanae, two very talented authors.

  Much love to all the members of the #TeamBankrollsquad Group & Myss Shan Fanpage.

  To all the Facebook book clubs, The Takeover, Urban Book Lovers, Black Faithful Sisters and Brothers Book Club, My Urban Books Club, We Read Urban Fiction, Diamond Eyes Book Club, Black E-Book Club, A Day Early Publishing, Readers R Us, Just Read Book Club, Embellish, Fun(4)daMental, and so many more: I thank you all for all the love and support you have thrown my way. I love each and every last one of you all. Sorry, I’m not a very active participant, but there are so many that it’s hard to keep up these days. No matter what, I appreciate the love and support, the book discussions, recommendations, and all of that.

  To my TBRS FAMILY: I am very honored to be a part of this family, the best family to be a part of!

  ​Shout out to David Weaver, Tremayne Johnson, Cole Hart, Torica Tymes, Alicia Howard, Drusilla (Piney), Chanel Jones, Envy Seal, and the whole TBRS Family: Much Love to you all! BANKROLL IS THE SQAUD! (IN MY TORICA TYMES VOICE) LOL!

  Time to give ‘em that werk!

  ​ Special shout out and thank you to David Weaver: Thank you for being a great mentor to me, the motivational speech you once gave me (awkward), and always being accessible when I need a question answered. Thanks for being a great boss and for definitely working with me on this release. You know my mind has changed too many times to count over the course of a few months, and I’m sure it will continue to change within the coming months. And a big thank you for making me a part of the family. #TBRS official!

  1

  Jahzara

  Hey! How you doin’, lil mama?

  Lemme whisper in your ear

  Tell you somethin’ that you might like to hear

  You got a sexy ass body and your ass look soft

  Mind if I touch it? And see if it’s soft

  Naw. I'm just playin' unless you say I can.

  Damn! The club is on and poppin' for it to be a Thursday night, I thought. Ballers are posted from the VIP to the main floor, so that means I won't be walking out with anything less than a rack.

  I'd been working at Wet Dreams for the last three and a half years. My husband Quin got knocked for peddling drugs over the county line and, in turn, had to do a four year sentence, leaving me to handle my bills and his bills.

  I've been holding that ass down his whole sentence and can't wait until September rolls around. My pussy is lonely and starving for some damn dick! I could easily leave Quin stuck out and boss up with any dude I choose, but I ain't that bitch. I ride for my man, and, even when times get hard and I feel like giving up, I won't. He's done too much for me to just leave him when he needs me the most. So, yeah, I’m sticking it out with him. I send letters, take the long ride to the prison o
nce a week, the whole nine yards. To me, it will be well worth it in the end because I know, when he gets home, he’s gonna do what he’s gotta do to get back on top and continue taking care of me like he was doing before.

  "Jazzy!"

  I looked over to my left at one of my regulars named Gee and nodded my head at him. He held up a few twenties. His eyes were pleading for me to come his way. After swallowing the rest of my drink, I placed the glass on the bar. As I headed in Gee's direction, I thought, I know I can pop my ass with him for a good fifteen minutes and make a good hundred dollars or better. I ain’t gonna even lie— to be just twenty-two years old, I’m a bad bitch. Smooth chocolate skin that shimmers in the light, five-seven, one-hundred and forty pounds, with long, natural hair. My ass, tits, and thighs are to die for. That’s why I’m such a hot commodity at Wet Dreams. A lot of dudes come here just to see me perform, even though some of these other bitches want to act like the majority of the dudes are here for them. Nah, that’s not even the case.

  "What's up, Gee?" I asked as I slid onto his lap.

  It was dudes like him that contributed to my car note, rent, light bill, and more. He and many others spent damn near their whole paychecks on a couple of lap dances, and a few feels of my tits and ass, only to leave here with a hard dick and blue balls.

  "Waiting to see you, Jazzy baby. Mmph," he grunted, while cupping my breasts in his hands.

  Looking into his eyes and making him feel like he was the only man in the room was all it took for me to take him over the edge. In the beginning, he may have only planned to spend twenty to forty dollars, but, after I was done with him, he always came out of his pocket with more. The minimum for a lap dance was only twenty, but I always worked for more.

  "Aye! Air this bitch out!"

  TAT-TA- TAT- TA- TAT!

  I turned my attention away from Gee and saw a flock of goons, dressed in army fatigues with black ski-masks over their faces. They each held on to either a chopper or a hand gun. They came in and got straight to the business.

  Security around here had always been weak as hell, and the girls had complained on numerous occasions, but to no avail. We always got excuses about it not being in the budget, or we were told that we, the dancers, would have to come off more money for the house if we wanted better security. Hell! At the end of the night, the house was paid a pretty penny and wasn't nobody trying come up off more. Especially not me. Nah, not even.

  I slowly stood up from Gee’s lap, unsure of what to do next. Gee stood up right next to me and looked around at the other dancers and customers at the club. They, for sure, had everyone’s attention because everything had come to a halt, including the music. This shit is crazy as hell! The economy has gotten that bad that fools are holding up strip clubs? What the fuck? I thought.

  "These fools trippin’!" a patron yelled.

  "Now, we don't wanna hurt nobody, but we will! Since y'all muthafuckas wanna be up in here strippin', then strip!" one of the goons yelled.

  A bunch of groans and protests could be heard from some of the men and women who had only come to see a show and not be a part of it. Most of the men looked around at the other men, seeing which ones were going to get rid of their clothing first. I didn’t give a damn since I danced half-naked around this muthafucka anyway. I quickly came out of my black, faux fur two piece set and dropped it down to the floor, and then looked over at Gee to see what he was waiting for.

  POW! POW!

  "Aaagh!" I screamed when one of the goons blew Gee's head off right next to where I stood. Blood splattered across my face and mixed with the tears that fell from my eyes.

  "Do we have any further protests?" asked the goon that blew Gee’s head off.

  Suddenly, everyone got on board and took off every piece of clothing that they had on. I stood there silently praying for Gee and for myself. It hurt that this was the life that I was forced to live.

  Quin had been the one I depended on because I didn’t have anyone. After he got locked up, the bills piled up quicker than I could keep up with, and the only way I knew to legally make some fast money was to strip. I’d left my parents’ home to be with Quin a few months before my eighteenth birthday. My mama and my daddy told me that, if I left our beautiful home to go be with a no good ass drug dealer that lived in the hood, I better not ever come home.

  At the time, I didn’t even care. Quin was the first real boyfriend that I ever had, and I was too head over heels in love with him. I wouldn’t have cared if that nigga lived in a shelter. I just wanted to be wherever he was at. The moment I turned eighteen, we went straight to the courthouse and made things official between us. Sadly, less than a year into our marriage, he got knocked, leaving me to play the role of lonely wife.

  "’Preciate the cooperation! Almost done, and y'all can get back to swinging ‘round that pole!" one of the goons said with a slight chuckle as he approached me.

  The fucker had the nerve to lick his lips as he reached down and grabbed the ones, tens, and twenties that had been placed in my G-string and garter. He made a point to stop and eye my pussy as he came up from the floor with my chedda in his hands.

  He better be glad he holding that damn gun, I thought.

  Before walking away, he smirked at me and moved on to the next victim. The whole ordeal lasted, at least, twenty minutes. Everyone in the damn club had been stripped and robbed for everything they had. As soon as the goon squad left the place, niggas stuck out their chests and got out of line, doing a whole lot of hot talking for no damn reason at all.

  After it was all over, I stared down at Gee's lifeless and body and wondered if he had a wife and kids at home. It was crazy how I'd danced for this man thousands of times since I'd been working here, been up in his personal space, but didn't know shit about him.

  "Jazzy, why the hell you still standing here? Get your clothes, and let’s go," Trixie said with her arm covering her breasts.

  I wiped the blood from my face using the back of my hand before heading to the back to get dressed and go home.

  *****

  The ride home was a blur. I couldn't even remember the turns I made, the lights I stopped at, or how I made it into my house. I'd seen a lot of bullshit since I’d been with Quin, but this was the first time I'd ever seen a body, up close and personal. I didn't think that I would ever get the image of Gee out of my head— him being slumped over with blood leaking from a tiny space in his head. That image just stuck to me like glue.

  Once I had showered and dressed in some comfy pajamas, I curled up on my couch with a half smoked blunt and a thick ass package from Quin. I had to be high in order to read anything that he sent me, it was the only way for me not to get mad at some of the mess he said when he wrote home. After taking a deep toke from the blunt, I pulled the letter out and smiled at the little hearts that he’d drawn around my name.

  I won't lie and say that it’s not hard to wait on a man to come home when there are so many others out there that I could easily pick from. I'm only twenty-two years old and should be enjoying my life. Instead, I come home to a lonely, empty house in the middle of the damn ghetto. I definitely shouldn't be coming home without someone waiting to hold me and tell me it's gonna be okay after what I witnessed today. This, by far, is the greatest challenge I’ve ever had to go through, but, as the days wind down until Quin’s release date, I know I can do it, I thought.

  "Shit!" I jumped and ended up dropping to the floor after hearing gun shots close to my window. Damn, my nerves are shot, I thought as I picked up the blunt and quickly took another hit. I allowed myself to calm down as I continued reading Quin's letter. Everything he mentioned was mainly a repeat of all the rest of his letters. Talking about how he had niggas in the pen bowing down to him, how he couldn't wait to come home and get back on top.

  "Whatever, Quin," I sighed, then frowned at the last few sentences.

  Jahzara,

  Look, I know three plus years is a long time to be trying to hold somebody down, and I kn
ow the fact that I left you out there struggling didn’t help. I told you that, even though I’m here, I still know what’s going on in them streets. I’ve been hearing major things about you that I’m not happy with. Things that I would’ve never believed in a million years. All this shit got my head so fucked up that I ended up causing a damn riot because of it, and now I gotta do an extra eight months. Not trippin’ at all, though, ma. Look, sign these damn papers, and don’t make this shit more difficult than it already is. One.

  Quin

  “Papers?” I questioned, pulling the rest of the contents from the package. The first page of the documents stunned me, causing me to drop the entire package onto the floor. “After all this time I sat here and held this fool down, this is how he is going to play the game? I left my beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood. I don’t even talk to my parents anymore, and this is how this fool wants to repay me? He wants a damn divorce?”

  Hot, salty tears spilled down my face as I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore.

  13

  Honey

  2

  Honey

  "¡Ay, papi!¡ Mucho gusto, mi amor!" I moaned in pleasure. "Tear this pussy up! ¡Aye, papi!"

  "Shit! That's right! Throw that ass back!" Cedric groaned as he slapped my ass with force.

  I clenched my muscles tightly around Cedric's thin but long pole as he slammed himself into me. My juices gushed with each stroke, pushing me further and further into ecstasy. Cedric and I had been together since we were sixteen-years-old, just juniors in high school.

  He was the first black guy that I'd ever dated, and he truly had me hooked from day one. I don't know if it was his dark chocolate skin or the nice eleven inch dick he was slangin', but, whatever it was, it had me mesmerized and unable to leave this bastard's side.

  "Oh, shit! ¡Ay, papi! ¡Ay!"